A Hate Crime

Image by the|G|™ via Flickr

Last night I received a phone call from my 20 year old cousin. Crying, he told me that his boyfriend (18 years old) has just been jumped and beaten. If you didn’t catch that said cousin and said victim are gay. And last night, the all too real reality of hatred against another individual was forced into their lives. Currently the couple live 2 hours apart, as said victim completes school. This left my cousin in a difficult position as to how to get to his boyfriend last night. Hard enough to come out to your ultra conservative family, let alone find an “excuse” to rush to the aid of your beau.

It sickens me that either had to experience the events of last night. They victim, for all the injuries he sustain, and the every lasting memory that will be scarred on his heart. And my cousin who is so young, and going through a wave of emotions and coming to his own, to see the harsh realities of this world. The hatred that harbors in the hearts of others. It could have been him. And I grieve for his boyfriend just as hard as I would my own cousin. No one deserves to be beaten and ridiculed because of who they love.

I pray that justice is served for the BASTARDS that ganged up on one person…and savagely beat, humiliated and hurt another individual. Because of their own self hatred. They own insecurity. How long did they stay on their “high”, of hurting another human being? How many others will make excuses for their homophobia? Why were they really fighting the victim? To lash out on their own hidden secrets? To seek revenge on a helpless individual because….God only knows why. I won’t speculate anymore.

Anyone know of any resources, for getting assistance for hate crimes, I can forward to my cousin and his boyfriend. It would be greatly appreciated.

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This Week in Stupidity

Image by Getty Images via Daylife

Former Home Depot employee, Trevor Keezor, was fired for wearing a lapel pin that says “One Nation under God“.  Home Depot’s response is that Mr. Keezor was fired for violating the company dress code. He wore a pin on his orange apron that expressed his religious beliefs.

Without my saying, it is obvious that the pin is from the Pledge of Allegiance for our very own United States of America.

Yet it’s a violation of dress code? Taking words from our very own Pledge and saying one is “expressing his or her religious beliefs”, is a cause of termination? The same company that gladly accepts money that has “In God we trust” printed on it?

Double standard? Out right stupidity no doubt. Since when do Americans have to fear for our jobs, homes, lives etc. because we believe in our Constitution, support our country and can just be down right patriotic if we damn feel like it. When did that become a crime?

The whole notion of being politically correct makes me want to vomit. If Mr. Keezor can’t wear his button, then Home Depot should stop accepting US bills and only take foreign currency. God only knows what’s written on their money.

BOYCOTT Home Depot. Shop at Lowes instead.

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• Trevor Keezor, Florida Man, Says Home Depot Fired Him Over God Button (huffingtonpost.com)
• -”One Nation Under God” Button is a Firing Offense? (answersforthefaith.com)
• Worker: I was fired for wearing ‘God’ button (msnbc.msn.com)
• Man says Home Depot fired him over God button (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

Going PINK/Pink is the new Black

As you all know October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Yes, that’s the reason that every product you see in the grocery story is pink and dons a ribbon. As a family member of a cancer survivor (My dad), though not breast cancer, I understand and know the toils that cancer can have on a family. My dad has had cancer for the past 15 years. In and out of remission, countless chemo treatments, hair loss, death scares, countless hospital stays and the likes. His mother, my grandmother succumbed to Leukemia in July of 2004. She had suffered from Leukemia since 2000.

Why breast cancer gets such a big showcase of support during one month I am unsure, but I do support the quest to find a cure for all types of cancer. I feel the same way about Breast Cancer Awareness month as I do about February being “Black History month“. Seems February would have kept with the pink theme and been a better month if, I mean if you’re going to have a month.

I’d rather Black History ALWAYS be taught and not reserved for such reverence in just February, and I would like the talk about Breast cancer and ALL cancer’s to be on the minds of people for not just the month of October but every month.

I support the companies that are actually donating proceeds of their sales to cancer research. But be aware that just because a product dons the pink ribbon does not mean they are donating any monies to cancer research.

From Dayton Daily News

While most companies follow through on donation promises, some pink-ribbon promotions are simply for profit only. These schemers use pink promotions to boost images and sales, but have no intention of donating proceeds to charities, are vague about where the money goes or how much is donated.

And just to be on the safe side when “buying Pink” visit Think Before You Pink.

Sad to say that some companies will under false pretense use a cause as serious as cancer to push products, when they have no intention of donating any money to research.

Your best bet is to donate directly. You don’t have to receive anything (product) to want to donate for a good cause.

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The Jiffy balloon nonsense

Charges will be filed against the Larimer County couple whose six year old son was thought to have floated away in a big balloon that resembles a Jiffy pop-corn bag.

The Heene family, which I guess by coincidence had appeared on ABC’s “Wife Swap”, had half the nation in total gawking manner last week when they convinced officials that their 6 year old bad ass son floated away by a large balloon craft.

If you missed the Heene family on “Wife Swap” here you can witness their crazy ways, and why this shouldn’t have surprised anyone.

From Yahoo! News

The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, met with Larimer County investigators for much of Saturday afternoon amid lingering questions about whether he perpetrated a publicity stunt when his 6-year-old son Falcon vanished into the rafters of his garage while the world thought he was zooming through the sky in a flying saucer-like helium balloon.

But Sheriff Jim Alderden didn’t say who would be charged or what the charges would be. His deputies later showed up at the Heene’s Fort Collins home with a search warrant and at least three of them began a search. Sgt. Ian Stewart declined to say what they were after.

And rightly so for the charges to be made against them. Their story clearly fell apart when little Falcon (the 6 year old) made this comment on live t.v.

Balloon Boy’s Father To CNN: “I’m Appalled At You!”

2010 Olympic Medals

Though they are being criticized, I like them. To me they are artful and actually quite nice on the eye. It’s different than what we’re used to but I like the unique style and detail.

What do you think?
LA Times
4th Place Medal Blog

XXI Winter Olympic games in Vancouver begin February 12  -18 2010

“Good Hair”

Image via Wikipedia

Chris Rock has a new movie out called “Good Hair” which I will not link. The film is in my opinion a disgrace and has received a lot of negative opinions from the Black community, and rightly so.

Here are a few comments from people (from a message board I visit) and how they feel about the film.

I hate that this movie even exist. To me it will start making whites having something to say even more about black women (they already think that a lot of blacks are from the hood, dumbasses). They will start to think that every black girl with straight her (hot comb or chemical) is wearing a weave. They will know the slang term (relaxer that blacks call it a perm, buckshots, kitchen, ect) that they would use against us. If white teacher see a 5 year old with nappy hair and four pigtails in her hair, she will think that her parents didn’t give birth to a baby with good (relaxed) hair. Their attitudes will become more slick and devilish. It will make whites see that natural hair really is unacceptable in this society just like how blacks see it. This movie will no longer want black women to show the natural beauty of their hair :c DAMMIT, I JUST DON’T WANT WHITE PEOPLE KNOW ANYMORE SECRETS!!!
[PebblesMean2U]

Another member said:

Black women don’t like anything that challenges them on the topic of wearing straight hair. Black people have the most unique hair in the world, yet the majority of black women have weaves, relaxers or straightened hair. I hate the “more manageable” excuse. Sure, your relaxed hair is more manageable if you’re trying to achieve styles suited to the natural texture of straight hair. If you went out tomorrow and the majority of white woman had chemically altered their hair so that it was super curly and were wearing afros, twists, locs, and braids and gave the excuse of “more manageable” what would you say?
[Passion4Muzik]

One more:

But not only on elementary/grammar school but middle school/junior high and highschool as well. You know I’ve seen girls with the little bitty ponytails and then they fan ti out to make it look like a lot when it’s not? And their hair is thin as all out doors from relaxers. I see girls with microbraids in and no edges whatsoever. It’s not so much the fact of wearing weave or extensions from time to time. It’s the “obsession” black women have garnered when wanting to take actions with this particular things. We’ve been conditioned so long telling us that our natural hair the way is grows genetically out of our scalps is “ugly”, we don’t know what else to go by anymore, but the euro hair look. It’s what been deemed as beautiful and we don’t have that look genetically and naturally so mimic it to “fit in”. That’s why black women find excuses and defenses to keep defending relaxers, perms, straightening devices because we can’t let it go, and I’m guilty of it also, not relaxing though. Like I said we can deny it all we want to but it’s true. I’m sure this film hit alot of nerves. [NW2009]

I never was going to see the film nor do I have any desire to do such. This discussion needs to be had at home with our daughters as well as our sons. As a Black woman who wears her hair natural (boy cut, short), I encourage natural hair and taking India.Arie’s lyrics to heart. We are NOT our hair.

Screw Chris Rock and his “attempt” to bring attention to a so called plight. Stupidity is rampant.

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The Debate: College Funding

It should come as not surprise here, the federal government is trying to force private lenders out of the loan business for college funding. Another example of BIG government, and something we as citizens should try to avoid at all cost. Never do you want the government to have a monopoly over any entity, especially not out institutions of higher education.

For more information click here, here, and here.

If you didn’t catch what I said the first time, this would make the federal government the sole provider of college loans in the US. This wipes out students and their parents right to choose lenders and options for financial assistance. FASFA, and the LONG time it takes to get that process is an indicator if there ever were one of how this process would go. There are many students not eligible for FASFA (Pell Grants) and some student whom only need a small loan and understand the rules of obtaining one. Yet, here the federal government is trying to step in and basically put in place an unfair governing of available funds.

And I say all of this as a former undergraduate still paying off loans, and also getting ready to start graduate school and acquire more loans. It literally is the price you pay for what you want. College is not mandatory. It is not accessible by any and everyone. There is a high cost to college. And yes I do agree that college does cost too much. I mean some of the things you pay for are too high and make no sense, but I don’t think overhauling the private loan system is the answer to making it possible for everyone to go to college.

More than anything I hate to see the government getting larger and larger and intruding on our rights to have options. Why does one have to obtain loans from the government, the IRS should be an example of how you don’t want to owe the government. Private lenders won’t put you in jail, they may sue, but never have I heard of one going to jail. But leave it to the government, which is our justice system as well, if your delinquent for too long, please pick out your orange jumpsuit size.

I’m just saying…

EDIT: I’m guessing this is the bill since no sites are mentioning it by it’s formal name click here.

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Hats Off To True Sportsmanship

I actually cried tears (I know right, as opposed to something else) after viewing this video

Here is the full story behind the video, click here.

I applaud Matt’s coach as well as the opposing teams coach. It’s amazing how we can get caught up in winning and playing hard. When all that matter’s at the end of the day is that children had fun, and learned in the process.

We too often take the things we have in life for granted, and I for one know that I do. This will mean more to Matt than some of us can even fathom, and I’m so happy that he got his chance to experience this achievement.

Way to go Matt Ziesel!

The Debate: Spanking

EDIT: Research from a 2004 study conducted by Jennifer Lansford of Duke University shows that

“while white children who were spanked exhibit more aggressive behavior as young teens, African American children who were spanked actually exhibit less aggressive behavior.”

A new study conducted by Duke University Center for Child and Family policy concluded that spanking children creates

“dumber and more aggressive children.”

(Visit them here)

Also concluded in the study is that

“1-year-olds did worse on cognitive tests as toddlers than children who were not spanked.”

Just to be clear this study was done on 2,500 low-income Black, Mexican, and White children in the US. I’ll let you read the study yourself and gain more information on different media takes yourself.

My opinion starts here:

I was spanked whooped as a child. And I harbor no regrets. And I thank my parents for whooping me as a child. And I know that some day when I have children of my own, I’ll whoop them (as needed). It is in my opinion that a good butt whooping has never hurt a child. People are confusing a loving whooping with child abuse. Two totally different categories, and not interchangeable. The two shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same context. One is not the other.

I despise people who beat their children for no other reason than hatred and the cowardliness to pick on a helpless child. The issue with spanking your child is not the same. So no other talks of child abuse need to be mentioned. Just wanted to clear that up. That’s a different post at a different time.

I have a three year old godson and I am thankful that he has a mother that has sense enough to discipline with a firm yet loving hand. There is no denying that his parents adore him and think the world of him, all the more reason they whoop him when he needs one. Kaleb doesn’t live in a home where he’s punished for everything he does. He doesn’t get a smack when he spills his juice or runs up the stairs. He gets a warning just like any other child. Or his father will remind him to be more careful with his juice next time. But Kaleb does and deserves a whooping when he’s defiant, when he does something he knows he’s not supposed to do (touch the stove, or not stop when he’s called). Thinking logically here, this is appropriate.

Take this for example, when Kaleb first began walking (around 10 months) like any other child he wanted to run away and walk alone, far away as he could from whom every he was with. No problem. He has the freedom, and he’s being watch. The problem comes as he gets older and wants to get further and further away, and you tell Kaleb to “stop, come back” and he keeps going. Potential danger. If Kaleb is walking toward the street, if Kaleb is about to walk off a high step or anything else, you need a disciplined child who listens to that command. So yes, when Kaleb did not heed his parents command he was whooped. And rightly so, it was for his own safety and for his own understanding. If your child is running into a busy street that child needs to have a healthy fear of you, for him or her to stop immediately when you call their name.

When I say fear, it needs to be the fear that we have for God (if one is religious). You have a healthy fear of God and you should, not because he’ll condemn you or hurt you or things like that, but because you respect his supreme authority and being. The parent-child relationship is not a republic nor a democracy. And that’s where I believe a lot of the problems lie. Children have been lead to believe that this is the way a relationship with a parent is supposed to be, when on the contrary, the parent is the end authority.

Because one loves their child and respects their position within the relationship we allow children to speak and be heard and have a freedom of expression, but we are also to guide them correctly and do posses the final say. That cannot be disputed. Parents are supposed to be the one’s in control. You are not a friend, you are a parent. That entails so much more.

Children ask for whoopings. Kaleb has shown me time and time again how he literally asks for a whooping. After he gets one, which he begs for by his actions and sour attitude, he’s a much lively child, he clings to his parents even more so and he posses an overall joy that was lacking prior to his loving discipline (which usually comes from mom). I would some times ask his mother why is he acting like that (flipping his eyes, whinning, doing stuff he know he’s not supposed to do) and she always responded with “he’s asking for a but whooping.” And she lets him carry on for so long, until she finally lets him pull down his pants, hands her a belt and spanks him. Afterward, he’ll cry for a few seconds, she’ll hug him and tell him how much she loves him, and from there, he’s back to his normal self. Singing, dancing and wanting his mother to join in every step of the way. I have witnessed his change, many times.

A healthy fear of one’s parent(s) is a good thing. I fear my parents, not because I fear they will slap me upside my head, but because I know there are consequences for not giving the proper respect that comes with a parent child relationship. I believe Sherri Shepherd from “The View” said it best

“a healthy fear of your parents as a child, brings forth a healthy respect for them later in life.”

Something to that effect. And I couldn’t agree more, and I never agree with Ms. Shepherd. Ever. What’s lacking today in the parent-child relationship is the respect and the mistake that spanking a child means you don’t love that child. All the contrary. You love your child therefore you take on the difficult role of tough love and discipline them accordingly for their own safety.

Now there is an exception to every rule. Every child doesn’t need a whooping to get the same effect. Some children are alright without being whooped, but some like my godson have proven that whooping is the better option. I was whooped as a child, but I didn’t need far as many as some cousins and siblings. Every child is different and parents have to adjust accordingly. Kaleb’s mother is the youngest of three siblings (older sister, older brother). She received far more whoopings than either of her siblings (and they got their fair share) but from her own mouth, she knew she needed those whoopings. Hence the reason her son needs them today, like mother like son.

Do I fault parents that don’t spank at all? A little bit. But it is there right, but I also want to see a study done on the outcome of those children. The respect factor between the parent-child later in the relationship. Some will be good, and some will be bad. Just with spanking. The biased study, gives the wrong impression. All spanking is not bad. Speak to adults (25 and up), especially within the Black community and see what the consensus is toward whoopings.

Rarely do I hear my peers speak ill of whoopings they received as a child. And some I know got complete smack downs from their parents and still respect their parents tremendously for setting them straight. I’m talking from punches in the face, to smacks in the back of the head. I have a soon to be 21-year-old cousin whose grandmother spanked him with a butcher knife (no cuts). And we’re all fine. Laugh about it today, and say what were we thinking? I needed that whooping.

Conclusion:

To each his/her own when it comes to disciplining one’s child(ren). I guess in the end we can’t knock one effort until we’ve tried it. You know what works best for your child. And you shouldn’t feel guilty in believing differently. This study was too bias to even be considered for too much discussion, but since all the out pour of yay’s and nay’s have been put out there I thought I’d join in as well. Whoopings shaped my generation (25 to 30), and those beyond us (31 and up) to the people we are today. A generation that doesn’t resemble at all those coming behind us. Those that on a smaller scale received spankings and whatnot. And clearly one can see the difference that new child rearing has produced. I SUPPORT spankings.

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Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

Media Take Out is taking claim for a story that I revealed and brought forth to the public. I have all the evidence of the “breaking” story. World Star Hip Hop also has the video on their site, which was first sent me.

Just know that it comes from a recent episode of the “Tyra Banks Show”.

Now everything has been blown out of proportion.